One of the biggest questions is: How do I know when there are problems at school? This can be very hard to tease out, honestly. Let’s break down how to spot school problems early.
Why is Trouble at School Hard to Spot?
Figuring out that something isn’t quite right at school, whether it’s grades or social problems, can be tricky. Your child is out of your sight and hearing for six or more hours each day, Monday to Friday, at school. Until there is an option for audio and video monitoring, the details of what goes on in the classroom won’t be complete. Which means you’re reliant on your child to tell you what happened and show you their work.
Let’s be honest, most kids are not the most reliable or accurate narrators. So the details about school work, their friends, and their struggles or victories might not always make their way to you at home. Plus, your child might hesitate to share poor grades or trouble with friends.
If you’re not getting all the information to start, the job of spotting trouble is infinitely harder.
How to Set Up Systems to Spot School Problems
While it might be tough to get reliable information about school, it’s definitely not impossible. Instead of counting on your child alone, set up a proactive communication system with the teacher(s).
Get started by sending a friendly email:
Hello TEACHER,
My name is NAME and I am CHILD’s parent. I would like to find a way to work together so that I am more aware of what’s happening at school. I’d especially like to know about challenges with academics, changes in mood or behavior, ability to stay organized, missing assignments, and social interactions. Would it be possible for you to keep me in the loop on these for CHILD?
Thanks,
NAME
You might want to make it more “official” and ask to meet with the teacher. You could arrange a specific timeframe to receive info about your child’s school experience or settle on a form to use.
Being proactive at the beginning of the school year can help you to be in the know about school details. Having an established relationship with the teacher also makes it easier for them to contact you at the first sign of concern.
Red Flags at School You Should Watch For
School years are full of ups and downs, progress and plateauing. It’s natural for every child to experience some struggle with academics and social situations as they mature and develop. However, there is a difference between productive struggle and struggle struggle.
Productive struggle is best thought of as the hard work needed to achieve a goal. For example, learning to ride a bike can be a productive struggle. It takes time and practice to learn all the skills and then to put them together to actually ride the bike. It is similar with academics, like reading. Learning letters, letter sounds, and then combining the sounds into words takes time to master. Your child might experience frustration and feel challenged by the work, but you can see their progress toward mastery.
Struggle struggle is when your child is working hard, feeling frustrated, and there isn’t any progress. An example of this might be a child that has been taught letters and sounds repeatedly, using structured literacy methods with lots of support, but isn’t able to reliably connect a letter to the most common sound even after several months of dedicated instruction. Or a child that cannot manipulate their hand grasp to effectively control a pencil and make marks on paper, despite all appropriate supports being in place along with instruction. Struggle struggle is long term, deeply uncomfortable, and doesn’t show signs of going away any time soon.
What you’re trying to do is thread the needle to notice and react before a challenge moves from productive struggle to a struggle struggle. Knowing how to tease out these details can help to spot school problems early.
What Signs Should Parents Look for at School?
Some key red flags that could alert you to concerns include:
- Sudden changes in mood, affect, or behavior: If your once happy-go-lucky child is angry, sad, reactive, or withdrawn, that might be a sign that there is an area of stress in their life. Now, that stress could be one of many things, from school to friends to sports. But it is worth noting and responding to changes in your child’s mood, affect (how they present themselves), and behavior.
- Missing assignments: While missing assignments could simply be chalked up to a moment of forgetfulness, they could also be a sign of something bigger. Ask the teacher if there are any patterns to the missing work. Maybe it’s everything that requires a certain skill like cutting, or work that needs long handwritten answers. Or it could be assignments from a particular topic or unit of study.
- Drop in grades: Students can naturally fluctuate in their grades over time. No one is consistently scoring exactly a 93 on every assignment or test ever. Most students have a range of scores, often within 10 to 15 points of their most typical grade. So a child could get an 86% on a quiz, a 99% on the group project and a solid 90% on the final exam. None of this would be alarming. However, if your kid typically scores between 80 and 100 on tests and is suddenly getting grades below 70, it’s time to ask some questions. Definitely schedule a meeting with the teacher to get some more information.
- Screening results: Every year, schools “screen” students several times in a variety of subjects. The exact tests vary by state, school district, and individual school. However, it is very common for students to be tested in all areas of reading and in math skills. Screeners are semi-formal and given at the beginning, middle, and end of the school year. If your child has a sudden dip of greater than 15 points in their screening test, especially if they have previously scored fairly consistently, this could be a red flag. If your child is scoring below the 25th percentile, this could be a red flag. If your child started the year with a low or at risk score and fails to make progress from that score across the multiple tests, that could be a red flag. It’s important that you look at your child’s screening scores to see that they are achieving within the average range and also making expected progress.
What to do When You Spot Trouble at School
First, take a deep breath. You noticed and are responding. You are doing exactly the right thing.
Next, start to collect information. You should reach out to your child’s teacher to get their insight. Gathering up other information, like records of low grades or missing work, is also a good idea. You’ll want to have as much information on hand as possible when you get to the next step.
Then, contact the teacher or teachers and request a meeting to discuss your concerns. Bring the data you collected with you. You could also prepare a list of questions to ask. Important questions might include:
- Have you noticed…?
- What has been done in the classroom to address…?
- How long has…been going on?
- What options are available at school to help address…?
- Do you have any recommendations that I could implement at home?
Once you and the teacher(s) have identified the problem and decided on a plan, you’ll want to keep monitoring the situation. Ask for regular updates from your child and the school. Schedule a follow-up meeting in 6 to 8 weeks so that everyone can share information and discuss progress.
Responding to red flags at your child’s school is definitely an ongoing, never ending process. But with a plan, support from the teacher, and a proactive approach, it will be easier to help your child spot school problems and work through them